The Lines We Cross
by YumeNouveau
Summary: Once the idea hit him, Sirius could not get it out of his head. Remus was perfect for him, so why had they never dated? And now that they were both newly single, why did Remus think it was such a bad idea?
1. Chapter 1

"So I finally did it," Sirius said, strolling into the apartment, rain hanging in jeweled droplets off his long black hair.

"Hmm?" Remus mumbled blearily from the couch. Nap apparently interrupted, he rubbed his eyes and sat up, surveying his friend's relieved expression. "Did what?"

"Broke it off with Benji of course," Sirius sighed, casting a drying charm on himself before shrugging out of his coat and joining Remus on the couch. Smiling, he watched Remus move his feet at the last second before being squished, then placing them right back in Sirius' lap.

"Oh, did I know things weren't working out?" Remus asked.

Sirius heaved a heavy sigh. Sure, Remus was book-smart, but when it came to things right in front of his nose-well other than books-he was a rather oblivious bloke.

"Well first there was last Friday when he asked me-ME-to go sailing! Can you even imagine?"

Remus seemed to contemplate the very thought. "I can?"

"Well don't, I forbid it! Then there was that gift certificate for a perm he bought me. The man simply has no taste!" Sirius hit his head against the back of the sofa and looked up to the heavens for guidance.

"So...you broke up with him because he gave you a gift or wanted to take you away in his boat? I'm confused?"

"Neither! Today he told me he hoped our kids would have my eyes!"

Remus raised an eyebrow looking thoughtful. "Well personally I hope our kids will have my eyes and your left foot, maybe the back of your head too, mine is a bit too round from holding my gigantic brain…"

"Oh do shut up. I'm in mourning here, have a heart," Sirius whined, pushing Remus with a perfect left foot. Though he really wasn't all that sad, and he knew Remus knew that, but still, he wanted an ounce of sympathy at the very least.

"I thought you were glad to be rid of him?

"I mean, I am. It's just...you know. Another failed relationship. Not that it would have lasted, never felt I could open up to the bloke, but I kind of hoped he'd change. Or I'd change. I don't know. Kind of tired of the whole dating scene to be honest." Which was true enough. Sure, he liked the chase, the thrill of it all. But in the end he always ended up feeling emptier than when he'd started.

"Words I never thought I'd hear from the mouth of the studly…"

"Remus, you old man, no one says 'studly,'" Sirius cut in.

"...Sirius Black."

Looking over at his friend, Sirius tried not to notice the tired lines around his eyes. He guessed he was preaching to the choir about being fed up with dating. It had been a month since Remus had broken up with his high school sweetheart and he hadn't tried to dip his toe in the proverbial dating pool even once. Not that Sirius hadn't seen the signs of the crumbling relationship, watched Remus grow distant and disinterested in her, until the fact that they had nothing in common except a history that was no longer enough.

"You know, I don't think we've ever been single at the same time," Sirius said, a sudden brilliant thought coming to mind. Before he could think better of it, Sirius let instinct take the helm. "Is that why we never dated?"

Shocked, Remus sat up and pulled his feet from Sirius' lap. "What?"

"You and I. Why have we never dated? I mean, I know you usually go for women, but then there was that time I caught you with that Ravenclaw boy in the locker room…"

Remus was now very bright red. Sirius was enjoying this immensely. "And then that blond bloke-what was his name, Benadryl?-I found you with when you were supposed to be on prefect rounds…"

"Benedict. And obviously I remember. It's impossible to forget when you remind me very few weeks thank you Sirius."

"See, it's perfect! You like cock...I happen to have a cock…"

"Solid foundation so far." Remus rolled his eyes and made to leave the couch.

"Wait wait. Really now. Tell me why my logic is flawed. Or...or is it that you don't find me attractive?" Sirius bit his lip. Sure he acted cocky and full of himself, but deep down he knew it would cut him to the quick if Remus found his looks off putting.

"Sirius. No one could possibly find you unattractive," Remus sighed. "Look, I'm not here to stroke your ego...or anything else for that matter. But you know you're bloody gorgeous so stop fishing for compliments and let me be."

"Right. So not my looks then. Is it my ass? I've been told I have a perfect ass."

"Are you sure they didn't mean you ARE a perfect ass?"

"Remus please. Focus. I'm at a loss."

"Maybe that's the problem. The things you're looking for in a relationship seem a bit on the shallow side," Remus suggested.

Sirius nodded. "Critique duly noted. But you see, that's why we'd be perfect. You know all the deep stuff about me, and me with you. Plus we already live together, so we could have sex whenever we want, no bothering any roommates who tell me to shut up so they can sleep..."

"You know I'm your one and only roommate right?" Remus grumbled. Then he looked down at his hands and sighed. Sirius wasn't sure why Remus wasn't more keen on the idea but he seemed to be doing the opposite of persuading his friend.

Noting Remus pulling away emotionally, Sirius paused. He knew he sounded insane at times, but this idea made wonderful sense to him. In so many ways he and Remus were absolutely perfect. They had brilliant fun together, the same stupid snarky sense of humor, loved one another despite baggage and flaws, and definitely found one another attractive.

Perhaps that was what was worrying Remus, Sirius frowned. He hadn't told Remus he found him perfectly shaggable in return. "You're really quite fit you know."

"Well that was out of nowhere," Remus said, cocking an eyebrow.

"No, just, rewind. Back to when you said I was 'bloody gorgeous.'"

"I'm not saying it again."

"No, I just mean," Sirius pondered for a moment. "If you're worried about me finding you hot, it's not a problem. I do."

"Uh huh."

"What I do! You're rather fit. Fitter than me even! Take off your shirt, I know you are!" Sirius tugged at Remus sweater but Remus pulled it away.

"Now that's just not happening," Remus said with a deep sigh.

"Is it your scars? You know I don't give a fig, remember that bloke I dated with the scar through his lip? Wasn't the only place he had scars. He used to let me lick them…"

"Well thanks for putting me off my dinner," Remus said. With a deep steadying breath, Remus stared into Sirius' eyes. "Look, Sirius. I can't tell if you're joking anymore."

"I'm not."

Remus just stared. Sirius wished he were better at reading his best friend at times like this. If he went out to a bar or club, Sirius knew he could get at least a dozen guys' numbers within an hour. Yet Remus, the one person he now realized he could have a real proper relationship with, seemed disinterested. And he could not for the life of him figure out why.

With a sad smile, Remus put a hand on Sirius' knee. "You're a hard man to say 'no' to Sirius."

"So, is that a 'yes?" Sirius couldn't keep the hope from his voice. He knew he sounded pathetic. Where had this come from? Fifteen minutes ago he wasn't even thinking of being with Remus but now he couldn't stop. It was everything he wanted. At least that's what he thought.

His heart dropped when Remus shook his head, squeezing his knee.

"You know it's not."

Remus suddenly looked more tired than before and Sirius was torn between feeling sorry for himself and sorry he'd heaped more woes upon his friend. A friend whom he now desperately wanted to kiss and make it all better. Which should be weird but wasn't. This was all so confusing.

"Look, I'm beat. Can you make dinner while I finish my nap? Thanks," Remus said before Sirius could reply and quickly left the room, shutting his door with some finality.

And that could've been the end of it, except as a dog, Sirius knew never to let sleeping dogs lie.

A new morning routine began to emerge. Sirius would head off to Auror training, Remus to his bookshop job. They'd part ways at the fireplace, Remus telling Sirius, "Have a good day," and Sirius replying, "I will if you'll date me."

Though initially shocked, Remus began to simply smile after the second time Sirius stunned him with those words, but once a week went by it became just old hat. Except that to Sirius it began to eat him alive. Every time Remus silently rejected him it seemed to cut deeper, to take his breath away and make the forced smile upon his face even more difficult to muster. But he'd fake it, he was good at that. Facades were his specialty.

By two weeks, Sirius had a new plan. It seemed fullproof, the perfect way to get Remus to finally show his feelings and conceded that all he really wanted was to be with Sirius. Luckily it was Friday night and both of them were free with no work the next morning.

"We're going out tonight," Sirius said, catching Remus right as he was about to take a bite of pasta. The man dropped his fork back into the spaghetti and eyed him quizzically.

"Oh we are?"

"Yes. I need to get out. You need to get out. Thus WE are going out," Sirius said in a no-argument tone.

"N..."

"Before you say 'no,' let me counter with, 'yes."

"Sirius really. I don't like clubs," Remus sighed into his noodles.

"Right but you like me. And I like clubs...ergo…"

"Sirius," Remus pleaded, but Sirius could feel him giving in. All he had left was to unleash his secret weapon.

"Please?" Sirius batted his lashes and gave Remus his best puppy eyes. It never failed.

"You're impossible," Remus said, though Sirius could see him attempting not to crack a smile.

"I'm also going to a club. With you."

"Yeah. Alright. But I'm bringing a book."

True to his word, Remus brought a book. To a nightclub. Sirius rolled his eyes as Remus turned a page as he sat at the bar sipping a gin and tonic.

"I think you're missing the point of clubbing," Sirius yelled over the music into Remus' ear. Though he had achieved Step 1: Get Remus Out of the House, Step 2: Get Remus to Admit His Feelings, wasn't fairing nearly as well.

"This is called compromise Sirius. I know it's a big word but you need to learn it."

"How are you turning a club into school?" Sirius sighed, eyes darting to the dance floor. He wasn't picky, really. Not tonight. His needs were few, only to find the right guy. Just then dark brown eyes locked with his own, the corners crinkling into a smile. _He'll do_ , Sirius thought, rising from his seat.

"Off to get lucky," he said to Remus, patting him on the shoulder and not once looking back despite the itch to turn and see Remus' expression. If he really was lucky, it would be a mixture of shock and jealousy, and if not, he'd just have to keep working his magic on the dance floor.

"Hey," Sirius said, eyeing up the man who had broken away from the throng to gently sway at the perimeter. Long black dreads were held back in a loose band and neon lights flashed against dark skin so perfect Sirius wondered if the man was wearing make up. "You want to dance?"

The stranger grinned back. "With you? Obviously."

Sirius gave him back a cocky smile. At least he knew his charm still worked on some men. "I need a favor then. See that man behind me at the bar? The one reading a bloody book?"

"You mean the one who looks like he's in love with you?" the man asked.

"What?" Sirius blinked and turned. Remus caught his eye for a mere moment before quickly looking down at his book. "Why would you say that?" he replied back, caught off guard. The man shrugged nonchalantly along to the beat.

"Because he is. I can tell. So what do you want with me when you already have him?"

"To dance. And perhaps make him jealous," Sirius said, his words catching a bit in his throat. It was impossible, the man must be mistaken. There was just no way.

"I can do both," the stranger replied, putting his hands on Sirius' hips and letting the music take them both. Sirius let himself go. He needed this, to get out, have his ego stroked, let loose and get away from Remus and his refusal to be with Sirius. And yet, the hands that ghosted over his body, the sweet words whispered in his ear, the lips that lightly kissed his neck, weren't the ones he wanted and it felt even more hollow than if he were alone. Sirius lost track of the songs they danced to, but once his throat was parched he excused himself and made his way back to the bar.

Unfortunately, instead of jealous Remus, Sirius found his friend very much ignoring him in favor of getting chatted up by a very good looking brunette. This was definitely not part of the plan.

Remus threw his head back and laughed at his companion just as Sirius took the empty space to his right.

"Something funny?"

Remus jumped a bit to find Sirius back by his side. "Oh hey. Have fun out there?"

"Yeah. Great. Whose this?"

"Renaldo," the bloke said, extending a hand. Of course he'd be all prim and proper, just like Remus. No wonder his friend was so taken already. Sirius ground his teeth and shook the proffered hand as briefly as possible.

"Sirius, Renaldo has the most interesting job…" Remus started but Sirius had already had quite enough. Of course, Renaldo was darkly handsome and interesting and posh and whatever else Remus actually wanted that Sirius wasn't.

"Remus, a moment please?" Sirius asked, pulling Remus away by the arm.

"Oh, sorry, be right back," Remus said, smiling at Renaldo and then turning to frown at Sirius. "What's gotten into you?"

Unwilling to answer, Sirius looked around for a spot to talk without having to yell over the music. Luckily there was a gender-neutral single bathroom nearby and he pulled them both in before locking the door.

"Um," Remus said, surveying their surroundings. "I don't suppose you want to explain this?"

Sirius clenched his teeth and let out a deep sigh of frustration. This night had gone from hopeful to hopeless so he might as well explain himself or Remus was going to go right back out there and date Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome.

"Fine. Right. So I might have brought you along hoping you'd see me with other men...and get jealous. There, you happy?"

"Wait, what?" Remus looked completely dumbfounded. "You...uh…"

"I thought maybe you'd admit your feelings to me, but apparently that backfired and now hear I am doing it instead."

"What feelings?" Remus looked ready to pass out.

"I mean, fine I get it. You're not into me. Just please, don't flirt with another man infront of me. Not yet," Sirius felt his heart ache in his chest. Remus just didn't get it. He didn't feel the same. The words of the man he'd danced with echoed in his head and turned to dust that made his throat scratchy and raw. Remus didn't love him, not like that.

Brows furrowed, Remus leaned against the door and surveyed him. The silence choked the air, Sirius was having trouble breathing as Remus seemed cool and composed, weighing his words before turning them upon him.

"For the record," Remus started, "I wasn't hitting on Renaldo. Or him on me. He has a boyfriend who was out on the dancefloor and we were both commiserating over why gyrating against a perfect stranger was considered fun."

Sirius was at a loss for words.

"Also," Remus continued, "your plan was incredibly flawed. I've seen you with guys, hell I've come home to see you sucking off a guy on our couch! Why on earth did you think tonight's farce would suddenly make me so jealous I'd have to have you?"

The words burned like a knife twisting in his stomach. Sirius felt cold, as if the chill of Remus' words could steal away his heat and life. Maybe they could.

"So...okay," Sirius took a moment, "In hindsight, definitely not a good plan. I think...I think I'll just go on home." Remus reached for him but before another word could be said, Sirius drew out his wand and disapperated himself.

The bed made a groan to match his own as Sirius threw himself face first into it. Damn that had been stupid. He couldn't be more embarrassed if he tried. Everything had backfired and now Remus knew how he felt, how pathetic he was, and all Sirius wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out. Pathetic men did not get dates with adorable yet unattainable werewolves. He just wished he knew what was wrong with him, what was so unfixable and damning that made Remus attracted to him yet not want to be with him. Then he wondered if this was how the men he rejected tended to feel when he broke things off, usually on a whim, without a fair warning. Damn, now Sirius felt like a monster.

Curled up in his sheets feeling sorry for himself, Sirius didn't even notice when Remus opened the door a crack before closing it silently behind. All he heard was his own harsh breathing in a cold lonely bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Avoiding Remus for the next five days was easier than Sirius thought. He'd wake up early, stay out late, eat meals away from home, and only come home when he couldn't find a proper excuse to stay away longer. Sure, it wasn't ideal or a long term solution, but Sirius wasn't in a headspace to ponder out either just then.

Unfortunately day five was the full moon and Sirius had no inclination to avoid Remus despite his wounded pride. Late afternoon found him stepping into the kitchen, greeting Remus with a brief hello, and grabbing the Wolfbane potion from the top shelf to mix into a cup of hot cocoa. Automatic, routine moments such as this almost took away the pain and humiliation as he stirred in some marshmallows, getting them just a bit melty the way Remus liked.

"Oh, thanks," Remus said in surprise as Sirius handed him the cup. "Sirius I…"

"Moonrise is at 6:37 right?" Sirius interrupted before his friend could spit out some half-hearted apology. Instead Remus nodded, his eyebrows furrowing imperceptibly. "I'll be there," Sirius finished before disappearing back into his room.

Somehow the full passed like any other previous transformation. The wolf and dog played, wrestled, and ran through the forest before retreating back to the Shack as Remus once again returned to himself. There seemed no ill-will from the wolf toward Padfoot, and it was only once he was his human self yet again that Sirius became at all self conscious. But he loved taking care of Remus, the fact that Remus would allow himself seen at his most vulnerable by Sirius was something he never took lightly.

So once Remus could stand on his own, Sirius wrapped an arm around his friend's naked waist and apparated them back to their flat. He drew Remus a bath, tended his deeper cuts and bruises, and helped him into bed. But while normally he'd stay beside his friend, reading to him as a distraction or simply being there incase Remus needed a pain potion or a warm side to curl into, Sirius couldn't bring himself to remain.

Not that he abandoned him entirely. Every hour he'd pop his head in to check on Remus, but he never stayed for long. The pained looks Remus cast his way were hard to bear, but whether they were directed at Sirius' absense or simply the wounds he'd sustained, Sirius didn't care to know.

As golden afternoon light began to filter through the blinds in Remus' room, Sirius had just finished rebandaging a wound across Remus' chest. Turning to leave, Sirius stood only to find a slender hand grasping his wrist.

"Stay."

Sirius let out a deep sigh before he could stop himself. He needed those words spoken so badly, yet they also unleashed a flurry of emotions within. The most poignant of them being anger.

"Fucking hell Remus," Sirius ground between his teeth, turning to glare at his bedridden friend. Remus dropped his hand as if burned.

"Swear at me all you like, it's better than silence," Remus said, his gaze pointed in return despite his exhaustion.

Sirius didn't care if he'd been childish in his avoidance. Anything seemed easier than this.

"Remus, what do you want?" Sirius asked resignedly, shoulders slumping forward.

"Not this!"

"Well me either," Sirius replied, looking up into Remus' hard eyes lined with pain. "But, let's be honest, you're confusing the shit out of me."

"I'm confusing? Sirius, you're the one who suddenly propositioned me out of nowhere then tried to make me jealous before vanishing for five days straight. Talk about mixed signals."

"You want mixed signals?" Sirius asked, squaring his shoulders and standing tall over his friend. "I stupidly got my hopes up, thinking you found me attractive, that maybe I had a chance. Hell, even that guy I was dancing with told me you were looking at me like you were in love with me!"

Remus sunk back against the pillows, a stricken look on his face. That was not the reaction Sirius was expecting. Denial sure. Maybe even disgust. But this, Sirius had no idea what to do with this. His anger seemed to seep away slowly as Remus sat in silence and after a minute Sirius sank down onto the far edge of the bed, facing the wall.

Perhaps he was reading the silence wrong, but Sirius was tired of all this stupid miscommunication. He had to ask.

"So...for how long?"

Remus took so long to answer that Sirius feared his friend had gone catatonic. He was almost ready to repeat the questions when a soft answer was finally given.

"Awhile," Remus said resignedly.

"Like, since your break up?"

"No." Remus took a deep breath. "Before."

"Oh." The shocked syllable filled every corner of the room. Turning, Sirius looked to find Remus staring down at his scarred hands. "Wait, but that makes no sense. Why didn't you ever say anything? All this time I could have been with you instead of the guys I dated, you know I'd have given any of them up for you. Why didn't you tell me?" Now he was angry again, his tone harsh as he slammed his hands against the mattress at his side.

"Because I knew you'd break my heart!" Remus yelled back.

"What?" Sirius was shocked. "Is that...some sort of prophecy? I don't get it."

"Of course you don't, you never do," Remus sighed shaking his head. "You have no idea of the trail of broken men you leave in your wake. When a sudden whim makes you annoyed that they have a tiny sneeze or they cut their hair in a way that reminds you somehow of a skunk. Then you leave them, no warning, no way to make things right. And then I'm left, cleaning up the broken pieces as they cry over tea at the breakfast table or call me to ask what they did wrong. So yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Being another one of your idiotic men who thinks he stands a chance."

Stunned to silence, Sirius simply had no reply. He knew he'd messed up, hell only recently had he realized how much it hurt to have your feelings paraded about then trampled all over. It felt awful, and if he could take it all back and be less of a selfish shallow ass, he'd gladly do so. In all honesty he couldn't blame Remus for his reluctance to in any way show his feelings if this is how Remus though he would be treated.

"That's," Sirius started, "that's fair.

Sirius could not feel more horrible if Remus had actually yelled at him. It was as if his every flaw was being aired out in plain sight, viewed and critiqued by the person he most loved, most wished to impress. But it was all true. Though his ego hated to admit, Remus knew him better than he knew himself. And somehow still loved him despite it all.

Seemingly shocked at his own harsh words, Remus covered his mouth as if to push them back inside. "Sirius..."

"No. Don't say you didn't mean it. Or whatever other kindness you think I deserve. You know you're right. Even I know you're right. Just...it's not easy to hear."

Remus grabbed at Sirius' hand but Sirius shrugged it off. The touch of warm fingers almost burned him, a compassionate gesture he ill deserved.

"I need some time, okay?" Sirius pleaded, still not able to meet Remus' sad eyes as he rose stiffly from the bedside and shuffled toward the door.

"I'm glad we never dated," he said before he could think on his words, watching Remus face fall before he continued. "I'd never want to hurt you like this."

That afternoon Sirius vanished himself and his belongings to James and Lily's flat. He told himself it wasn't a permanent move, but sadly the spare generic guest room felt more welcoming than his own home at the moment. And though Lily and James attempted to keep him occupied, Sirius was still left alone with his thoughts at night, each more sleepless and long than the last. Every moment was spent thinking of what Remus had been going through, how long he'd put his best friend through such heartache, ruminating over ideas to try to make it up to him, to repair the friendship at the very least. But always hoping for more. Yet his mind drew a blank. Ideas, solutions, those were Remus' forte, not his own. So he simply did nothing.

It took a week for James and Lily to drag Sirius out of the house and to a cafe. Two weeks for dinner at a restaurant. By week three Sirius was okay with eating out, but not going to clubs, which was exactly where his two friends had dragged him to in an elaborate farce. Sirius had just sat down to dinner, menu in hand, when Lily grabbed his wand and James apparated them all into a loud sweaty room where he fell flat on his ass. Pride and behind bruised, Sirius allowed them to help him to his feet before muttering that he should've known when they asked him to change into tighter jeans and lose the sweatshirt.

"Come on, it'll be fun," James yelled over the crowd, dragging Sirius to a booth as Lily grabbed shots.

Sirius wanted to argue but honestly if they were finally going to let him get wasted, he didn't have it in him to care. By the third shot Sirius felt buzzed enough to be pulled to the dance floor by Lily who begged him not to subject anyone to James' offencive dance moves. Properly persuaded, because no one deserves to be on the receiving end of such uncoordinated limb flailing, Sirius hit the dance floor and found his heart slightly lifted as he let loose with Lily.

"Mind if I cut in?" A firm grasp on his shoulder and words spoken in his ear caused Sirius to turn to find a pair of stunning amber eyes fixed upon him. Sirius choked on his reply. But though Sirius was at a loss, Remus seemed purposeful in his request. Sirius turned to Lily, finding her suddenly on the edge of the dance floor by James and apparently intent on leaving him to his preplanned fate. Typical.

Sirius sighed dejectedly and took a small step back only to be pushed forward and into Remus' arms by the undulating crowd. Caught for a moment in the warm grasp, Sirius didn't want to pull away. But of course he couldn't stay.

"What's this about then?" Sirius yelled over the crowd. Lily still had his wand, curse her, or he'd disapparate on the spot, muggles be damned. Remus looked at his somewhat sadly and pulled at Sirius' arm, and of course Sirius followed. The bathroom they entered looked disturbingly familiar.

"Oh back here are we?" Sirius said, finally able to speak in a normal tone once Remus closed the door to the noise beyond.

"And here I thought you'd make this difficult," Remus replied sarcastically, shaking his head but with a slight smile on his face, damn him. Sirius frowned extra in return.

Crossing his arms, Remus leaned against the wall in, what Sirius could now see, was his own tight dark jeans and distressed tank top. Not that he was paying attention to what Remus was wearing. Sirius focused instead on Remus' face, his slightly smug, mostly confident expression, as if things were somehow going just his way. And even though he knew that might well be to his benefit, Sirius didn't want to give up his anger just yet, not without a reason.

"Then talk," Sirius suggested, leaning as casually as he could against the opposite wall.

"Right. Well I'm sorry," Remus began, and Sirius could only blink. He hadn't expected it quite yet but it was nice to hear even if he didn't have to actually fight for the apology.

"I definitely treated you unfairly. Didn't even give you a chance before jumping to conclusions. And I know I hurt you just as deeply as I feared you'd hurt me. So I'm truly sorry Sirius."

"Ah well," Sirius scratched the back of his neck. He couldn't say it was okay. It wasn't. Or that he forgave Remus, not yet anyway. At least Remus didn't seem to expect an apology in return. "What now?"

"Well, that depends. What do you want?"

A good question. At the moment Sirius was torn between wanting to punch Remus straight through that wall and kissing him so hard that they'd probably go through the wall anyway.

"Nothing I can have," he settled on.

"That's rather pessimistic," Remus replied, straightening and walking toward him.

"Forgive me if my mood has soured of late," Sirius said somewhat cuttingly. It wasn't fair. Remus looked a dream, golden hair, fit frame, not the haggard look that Sirius had been sporting of late. It was as if this entire ordeal hadn't affected him in the least and that hurt.

"I did say I'm sorry," Remus countered. "Yet you look just as angry as before."

"And you look bloody perfect. Life without me must suit you."

"Fuck you Sirius, I've been a right mess!" Remus raised his voice, narrowing his eyes and taking another step forward.

"Well fuck you too. You've made my life hell."

"No no, things were going just fine until you decided to bloody proposition me!"

"'Fine?' Wait, so you liked pining over me while I stayed oblivious to how much I was hurting you?" Sirius spat.

"Of course not! But can you blame me? I knew something like this would happen, you're a bloody drama queen!"

"Once again. NOT. MY. BLOODY. FAULT!" Sirius yelled back. "You're as much to blame for this mess as me so stop making up shit you think I'll do and blaming me before I even do it!"

Remus was silent for half a minute, staring at Sirius, then at the floor at his feet. "Fair," he finally replied between clenched teeth. "I jumped to conclusions. But you still acted a right ass."

"An ass that you fell for," Sirius said smugly, cocking an eyebrow at Remus. Determined to get another rise out of him.

Instead what he got was the firm press of lips against his own, sudden and overwhelming, crushing him against the wall. He let out a startled noise as the air left his lungs, cold tile at his back and Remus' warmth pressed along his body, hungry and angry and almost primal with need.

"You drive me crazy," Remus said breathily after a moment, breaking the kiss. The words were spoken an inch from his own mouth, warm and full of honesty.

"But you love me," Sirius replied back, giving Remus his most seductive stare.

"Fuck you," Remus said back, but this time the words had no bite, only longing. Then they were kissing again, hard and urgent, arms wrapped around one another, fingers threading through hair, no space between their firm bodies.

Sirius ran his hands along the waistband of Remus' tight jeans, thumbs pressing into the warm skin of his back and under the edge of the denim. In response Remus moaned into his mouth and thrust against him, his length digging into Sirius' thigh. Nothing could ever be as much of a turn on as Remus being hard for him. Sirius parted his legs as Remus nudged a knee between them, pressing his pelvis close, rocking against Sirius as all the blood in his body rushed to his cock. He was so aroused his balls ached as his mind told him to both take things slow with Remus and to hurry it up before he became the first man to die of unfulfillment.

"I want you so bad," Sirius mouthed against Remus neck, kissing and sucking the sensitive skin as Remus arched against him.

"Here? In this bathroom? So romantic," Remus replied.

"You're barking up the wrong tree if you want to be wooed," Sirius countered, grinding his cock against Remus' own. Remus moaned and swore under his breath. "But stop me if you want to take this slow." Sirius was in no mood to rush things if Remus was only after a kiss or two.

Dropping to his knees, Remus showed him exactly what pace he wished to set. Sirius gazed down to see Remus pressed to the strained fabric of his jeans, mouthing hungrily at his cock. "You want that?" he asked, widening his stance and jutting his hips forward for Remus to settle between. Fuck it felt good, the slight pressure as Remus pressed his face against his aching length, hot breath felt even through the layers of fabric.

"What the hell do you think?" Remus replied, and with deft fingers the man had unbuttoned and pulled down Sirius' jeans and had a mouthful of cock before Sirius could properly register what was happening. Sirius' head hit the wall behind with a smack, but he barely cared as Remus swallowed him down, hot wet mouth taking him in deep.

No blow job had ever felt half as good. Sirius knew there should be nothing special about this, just another one off in a club washroom. Yet it was everything to him because it was Remus. He both never wanted it to end and was desperate for completion. Remus' lips were so perfect, his tongue so agile as it teased his slit, hands firm and needy as they pulled at his ass to speed the pace of Sirius' small thrusts. Even though he knew Remus was getting him off, it almost felt as if Remus was doing this for himself, every moan around his cock was filled with so much need. As if Remus had been waiting forever for this.

Sirius felt Remus pull back, warm tongue tracing along the underside of his length until it flicked the crown, then look up to meet Sirius' eyes. Even from his spot on the floor though, Sirius felt like Remus was completely in charge and it made his heart beat faster.

"So, what do you really want?" Remus asked, an echo of his earlier words yet spoken in a voice deep with lust. Those lips that had been moments ago wrapped around him could undo Sirius in so many ways it made his knees weak.

"You. Just you," Sirius found himself saying without thinking. The words were stupid, and sappy, not anything he'd ever utter to another man. Yet it was true, and he was pretty sure Remus knew it.

Remus smiled, coyly, knowingly, shaking his head slightly. Sirius reached a hand down, a thumb tracing Remus' jaw, softly finding his lips as they kissed his skin. It was intimate and fleeting, but seeing love in Remus' eyes made him momentarily forget about the world, his worries, even his aching cock. Then the moment passed and Remus surged forward, pressing Sirius back against the tile and taking his thick length down his throat. Sirius pulled at his hair, running fingers through the messy blond locks as Remus boobed his head. Heavy and full, his cock surged in and out of Remus' mouth. Stretching his lips around its girth as Remus sucked at him hard.

Stamina was usually Sirius' strong suit, but not in this situation. Not with Remus doing sinful things to him with his beautiful mouth. Strong hands grasped at Sirius' hips, thumbs dug into the juncture between his legs and groin, holding him back as Remus moved up and down over his erection, taking Sirius in deep and then pulling off, leaving Sirius aching and wanting.

"Fuck Remus," he moaned, one hand grasping against the wall as the other sought to pull Remus back onto his cock as it arched toward the ceiling, red and thick as a drop of cum dripped down the underside.

"I'm going to make you come so hard you forget all those other men," Remus said softly, though the finality in his voice made Remus suspect how much he really had been hurting his friend unknowingly.

Sirius met his determined gaze and then Remus sucked him down hard, amber eyes watching him the entire time as Sirius moaned and bucked in his grasp, cock so near to bursting he could hardly stand it. Remus fucked his cock with his mouth, over and over until Sirius couldn't bear another moment and with a curse he surged forward, thickening and spilling cum onto Remus' awaiting tongue. With a moan of his own, Remus swallowed it down, urging Sirius on until his thrusts began to ease up, his cock softening in Remus' mouth.

Too sated to even stand, Sirius began to slide down the wall before Remus stood quickly to catch him. Sirius sighed into his arms, boneless and content, resting his head on Remus' shoulder. The unmistakable feel of a cock grinding into his hip quickly made Sirius snap out of his stupor as he realized his friend went unfulfilled.

"Shit, sorry that was selfish of me," Sirius said, one hand ghosting down Remus' hip to rub at his crotch. The press of what seemed a rather substantial cock against his fingers made Sirius take interest in exactly what lay beneath his friend's clothing. He rubbed at it with the palm of his hand as Remus' breath became more ragged and his body tensed against Sirius' own. When Remus' fingers stilled his wrist with a firm grip, Sirius turned to eye the other main with a raised eyebrow.

"Suddenly rethinking the whole romance thing? Want me to wine and dine you first?"

"No," Remus replied raggedly. "But if you keep that up I'm going to come any moment."

"Good."

Sirius reached a hand in, past tight jeans and pants to grasp Remus in his fist. "Don't hold back," he whispered into Remus' neck, sucking the sensitive skin as he drew Remus forth. His fingers barely wrapped around Remus' girth as he pulled the flushed cockhead forth, over the top of Remus' trousers. With a flick of of thumb over Remus' leaking tip, Sirius reduced his friend to moans and shudders before reaching back under the fabric to give him another tug. Remus bucked into his touch, yet the angle was awkward, so on the next upward pull Sirius released his grip and spun Remus to rest, back flush against his chest.

With greater dexterity, Sirius let his hand wander back down, jacking Remus off beneath this clothing, looking down to watch the tenting of fabric, the movement of his fingers as they sped over Remus' cock. Each upward stroke brough Remus' cockhead up and over the top of his jeans, wet with precum and dripping down his hand as Remus rocked into his fist, gasping and begging for more. He lay his head back against Sirius' shoulder, body both tense and limp in his arms, legs spread wide as Sirius placed one of his own between them, slowly nudging his balls with one thigh. With his free hand Sirius unbuttoned Remus' fly, licking his lips as Remus' cock sprang forth, pressing the zip down until it strained from within, hard and thick and oh so long. Sirius' mouth began to water. Damn but he wanted that. In his mouth. In his ass. Wherever Remus wanted to put it.

But for now he'd settle with getting Remus off. Sirius pressed urgent hungry kisses to Remus' arched neck as he gripped him hard, the slip of cum speeding his strokes as Remus rocked back into his body, unabashed in his longing. Desperate to get off, Remus was practically squirming in his grasp, his arms reached back to grab at Sirius, finding purchase all over his body as his cock leaked a steady stream. Sirius had never wanted to see another man fulfilled more in his life. Nothing was as beautiful as Remus coming undone in his hands, the thrusting of his body, the rocking of his hips, the cock that twitched in his grasp.

"Let me make you come," Sirius pleaded against Remus neck. Full of a need not even his own, Sirius pulled at Remus length, strong assured strokes from tip to root, touching him exactly as he himself liked to be touched. He wrapped himself around Remus, holding him as close as possible, letting him know this was special, not a one off, not something he would or could run away from even if he wanted to. There was so much more here, years of friendship and love, longing and hurt, frustration and ultimately fulfillment. Sirius wanted to give Remus everything he had ever wanted.

"Remus," he said softly into the other man's ear, a pleading for release, both physical and mental. Sirius wanted him to let it all go. So Remus did. With a shout so loud Sirius was sure s outside the bathroom could probably hear, Remus came. Thick cum spilt forth as his cock arched against his stomach, so rigid and heavy in Sirius' hand. Sirius reached down to grasp at Remus' balls, causing Remus to buck again, his voice lost, mouth opened wide as he continued to come, coating his stomach and clothing in a sticky stream of his own need. Shuddering and moaning, Remus turned his head, taking Sirius' lips in a frantic kiss full of gasped breathless words while Sirius continued to stroke him to completion.

Finally sated, Remus fell limp in Sirius' grasp. Sirius continued to kiss him, soft pecks and licks from lips to jawline, neck to ear and down his collarbone. Small noises of approval fell from Remus' breathless lips, until he'd regained enough strength to turn in Sirius' arms and kiss him back properly.

"I hate to ruin the mood, but I have to ask," Remus said nervously, causing Sirius to break away and look him in the eye. "But this isn't some one time shag right?"

Sirius hated that he even had to ask. "Of course not," he replied softly, touching Remus' cheek. "Plus, you've got to show me just how you use that." Sirius smirked cheekily down at Remus' flagging erection.

Remus laughed and shook his head. "What, have you been gay all this time and never known where to put a cock?"

"Not one like that."

"Ah. Well maybe the mystery has finally been solved. You just needed a man with a big enough prick to keep you satisfied," Remus replied biting his lip and blushing slightly.

Sirius felt himself harden at the thought. "Well you'd better take me home and show me where it goes then before I run off," he grinned.

Remus punched him once, softly, in the arm before a grin penetrated his facade. He grabbed his wand from his boot and twirled it once. "Your wish is my command."


End file.
